How Did I Get Here?
by ANgel GIrl232
Summary: Ruthie's life starts to spiral out of control.
1. Chapter 1

How Did I Get Here?

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from 7th Heaven.

Summary: Her life was perfect, well not perfect but close to it. One night changed that.

She stared in awe at the tiny baby in her arms. This was her baby, she was someone mother, and it all seemed so unreal. She slowly rocked the baby girl in arms while trying to get her to sleep. She smiled at her baby and kissed her forehead, it was weird that she had known it was going to be a girl without the doctor telling her. She hummed a little lullaby for her baby despite being tired. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was damp from labor.

"Miss Camden I sorry but the social worker Mrs. Morgan is here to take the baby". The nurse said as she entered the room with a sympathetic look on her face.

She nodded sadly and handed the baby over to the nurse as tears fell rapidly down her face. This was hardest thing she ever had to do; giving up her baby was tearing apart. In some words she was coward and she knew it. She had kept her pregnancy a secret from her family, friends, and even the baby father didn't know, only two people knew her secret and it was her brother Matt and her sister Mary. She tried to tell her parents several times, but in the end she didn't have the heart to tell, fear kept her from telling them.

But she couldn't keep the baby she was only sixteen, sure others had done it but could she? "No she couldn't, this was all for the best her baby would have two parents who were happily married and could give her anything she would want" she thought, trying to reassure herself. The closing of the door knocked her out of her trance like state, letting her know that her baby girl was gone and that she had a visitor, it was Mary.

"I gave her up", she whispered. "I loved her so much. She looked so much like her father". She sniffled a little and buried her face in her hands and cried hysterically.

Mary sat on the hospital bed while trying to comfort her sister. "Maybe we should let Mom and Dad know that you were pregnant and gave that you gave the baby up for adoption. They could help you get through this.

She pulled away from her older sister fear washed over her. "No, only you and Matt know about the baby. I want it to stay that way and remember you promised to keep this a secret"! It had been pretty easy for her to hide her pregnancy. She experienced nausea but didn't throw up much and she didn't show that much during her pregnancy either.

"Mom and Dad are going to call later so I'll cover for you and Matt going to visit you later. Mary said as held her sister hand trying her attention as she stared into to space.

It had finally sunk in that she would never see her baby again. She never be there for her baby first words or her first steps. That little girl would never call her mommy but call somebody else that instead. She Ruthie Camden had given her baby up for adoption. She did the only thing she could do cry.

Author's Note: I know it a little short the next chapter will be longer. Please let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Mary paced around outside of Ruthie's hospital room waiting for her brother Matt. She ran her hand through her short blond hair trying to come up with a plan. She couldn't let Ruthie give up her baby. Mary looked down at her stomach; she had gotten back together with Carlos and now they were expecting twin girls. But she decided to keep it a secret from her family until they came to visit for Matt and Sarah's graduation. She glanced at the clock until her thoughts drifted to when Ruthie had called her and told about her pregnancy and begged her to let her live with her in New York.

Matt looked up and saw Matt coming towards her. "Matt where have you been"?

"Mary I'm not that late, just claim down and let me know how Ruthie is doing.

She rubbed her temples before answering "Matt she's devastated I tried to talk her out of it but she keeps refusing. I also told her to call Mom and Dad but I think she convinced herself that they will hate her".

"But that's not true". Matt replied.

Mary sighed and rolled her eyes. "Matt you and I both know that not true but she got herself convinced other wise". "But I'm going to stop this adoption even if Carlos and I have to adopt the baby ourselves. I can't let Ruthie do something that she's going to regret.

"How are planning to adopt the baby doesn't the adopting process takes a while"?

"Yes, it does but I know the social worker Mrs. Morgan maybe I can convince her to let me and Carlos adopt the baby and if that doesn't work. I'm going to have to convince Ruthie that she is making the biggest mistake of her life".

Ruthie laid in the hospital bed as the nurse tried to get her to eat something but she couldn't. The guilt she felt was overwhelming and it was tearing her a part piece by piece.

Inside she was screaming for the social worker to bring her baby back and tell her it was a mistake.

She bit her lip trying to keep the tears away her thoughts drifted towards the news she had heard from her family back in Glen Oak, Rose and Simon had broken up after Sandy had found out that she was pregnant with Simon's baby **(A/N: The Martin and Sandy thing never happened.)** they had a little boy who was about a couple months old and they were dating now. Lucy and Kevin had announced that they were having another baby and then there was Matt, Sarah, Mary and Carlos who were expecting babies too. It made her feel uneasy, how was she going to forget if they all had babies, how was she going to get rid of he guilt.

It was April and she had one more month before she to go home. Just thinking about it made her heart beat rapidly. How could she go back to Glen Oak, the place where her baby was conceived, and where he was? She closed her eyes and prayed to God that she wouldn't fall apart.

_9 Months Ago_

Ruthie rolled her eyes as she watched Martin and Meredith make out in front of her yet again. She frowned as she twirled her brown curly hair around her finger trying to keep her mind on something less revolting. What possessed Martin and Meredith to invite her to the mall if they were just going to make out the whole time?

"Guys, I'm going go get a smoothie. Will you wait for me"? Ruthie stopped and waited for them to answer, but saw they were still kissing. "Never mind"! Ruthie spat out bitterly as continued walking towards the smoothie stand.

"Why did I come here"? She mumbled under breath "I hate being the third wheel. "Ruthie you're here because you like Martin", the voice in her head chanted.

"I don't like Martin I like Jake". "Ruthie you're right you like Jake but you love Martin" the voice in her head continued taunting her.

She groaned loudly while mentally slapping herself trying to get all thoughts of Martin out her head as she paid for her strawberry banana smoothie.

She looked at her watch it was 7:30 she was supposed to be home thirty minutes ago. "Martin, I was supposed to home thirty minutes ago"! "Martin"!

"What do want Ruthie"? Martin said with a hint of annoyance present in his voice.

"I need you to take me home". I'm already thirty minutes late"!

Martin looked back in forth between Ruthie and Meredith before replying. "Fine I'll take you home". "Meredith do you need a ride home too, because I can drop you off"?

"Martin that's ok my dad is picking me up in ten minutes so you two go a head". Martin gave Meredith a quick peck on the lips before heading to his car with Ruthie behind him.

She walked to the car her arms folded against her chest ,the nerve of him. "First he invited me to the mall, then he spends the whole time with Meredith, and he gets annoyed when I asked him to take me home"she thought.

She glared out window while popping a piece of bubble gum in her mouth. "I can't believe I'm late my parents are going to ground me"!

"Look Ruthie I'm sorry, I'll just tell your parents that I lost track of time.

Ruthie laughed bitterly. "That's an understatement".

"Ruthie what is your problem"? Martin said as he pulled into the Camden's drive way.

"My problem is that I'm late because you spent all our mall time shoving your tongue down Meredith's throat!

"I said I was sorry Ruthie". "What more do want from me"?

"Martin you know what I want"? "A better friend"!

"What is that supposed to mean"?

"It means that you haven't been a good friend to me ever since you started dating Meredith!

"Ruthie that's not true"!

"Martin it is and you know it"! I mean come on today for instant you invite me to the mall and then the second Meredith shows up you ditch me. I get that your dating her but why in world would ask me come to with you if you weren't going to even talk to me while we were there"!

"Ruthie look"… but Martin was cut off again by Ruthie. "Martin lets not forget the time you left a promenade without evening telling all because Meredith was sick.

"So I've made a few mistakes, but I've apologize several times".

"Do you really think sorry makes everything better because it doesn't". Ruthie opened the car door and walked towards her house.

"Are… you jealous?" Ruthie turned around to face him. "How dare you"? Martin you've been a horrible friend and now out of the blue you accuse me of being jealous"!

"Ruthie I didn't accuse you of anything I just asked question and now I want answer".

"I'm not jealous"! Ruthie said as place her house key through the lock and walked inside with Martin behind both were so caught in their argument they failed to notice that they had an audience.

"Ruthie if you would just listen I'm…"

"Don't you dare say it! I'm so sick and tired of hearing how sorry you are"! You're not sorry because if you were you wouldn't keep treating me like this you would stop"!

"Ruthie"! Martin yelled.

"Don't Ruthie me you did this to us not me! Look Martin I don't think we should be friends anymore for a while". Ruthie said with tears in her eyes.

"Ruthie you don't mean that"!

"I do Martin I really do because as of right now you don't know how to be friend! So do me a big favor, leave"!

Author's Note: Hey guys I hoped you like chapter 2. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been really busy with school. Just to let you know the story going to take place before Ruthie had her baby leading up to her decision to give the baby up for adoption.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Hey guys, I know that I haven't been updating this story very much and I'm sorry! I'll try really hard to update more and get a least two chapters out at a time, the next time I update. Well here is chapter 3 I hope you enjoy. Please review! P.S: I'll update again in two days with ch. 4 & 5!

* * *

_Last Time_

"_Don't you dare say it! I'm so sick and tired of hearing how sorry you are"! You're not sorry because if you were you wouldn't keep treating me like this, you would stop"!_

"_Ruthie"! Martin yelled._

"_Don't Ruthie me you did this to us not me! Look Martin I don't think we should be friends anymore for a while". Ruthie said with tears in her eyes._

"_Ruthie you don't mean that"!_

"_I do Martin I really do because as of right now you don't know how to be friend! So do me a big favor, leave"!_

* * *

Ruthie shot daggers at him. "You heard me I said leave"!

Martin stared at her with disbelief, she being so cold toward him. "Ruthie you're overreacting"!

"No I'm not. Now I'm going to ask you again to leave"!

"Fine, I'll leave! I'll come back when you grow up"! Martin turned and walked out the door leaving a speechless Ruthie standing there.

She gained her composure and closed the door. When she turned around she saw her family staring back at her. "I'm sorry I'm late" and with she fled the kitchen and headed to her room.

"Damn him" she spat bitterly as she slammed her door. She hated him; no she loved which made the situation complicated. It not like she asked to love him, you know the saying you can't choose who love. Ruthie locked her door she just wanted to be alone.

She sunk down to the floor as tears fled rapidly down her face. She didn't mean any of she was just jealous he was right about it all. She was overreacting.

Martin had been careless forgetting lots of things because his mind was Meredith, why shouldn't it be he loved her.

"No he shouldn't love her he should love me. Why can't he love me"! She yelled as she walked over toward her mirror her eyes were puffy and red; her nose was red as well. Ruthie hiccupped as wiped her eyes with a Kleenex she was startled by the knock at the door.

"Ruthie can I come in"? In an instant Ruthie recognized the voice.

"Ruthie come on I didn't mean what I said and I know you didn't either".

It was him Martin of all people. She had expected Lucy or her mom but not him. She hesitated but made her way toward the door.

"I wasn't expecting you. I mean I thought you left". Ruthie said as she sniffled.

"I did but I came back. Ruthie we need to talk".

"There nothing to talk about" she said avoiding eye contact.

"Are you kidding me Ruthie? There is so much we need to talk about! Ruthie I'm so sick of arguing with you about every little thing. Everything I do seems to make angry and I want to know why! No I deserve to know why, you owe that much"!

"Martin I don't owe you anything"!

"See there you go again! Here I am trying to talk to you and repair our friendship and your being cold towards me"! You know what forget it" and with that Martin walked out of her bedroom.

Two minutes later she ran after him, he was making his way across the street.

"Martin"! She yelled. "Martin"! By the time she had caught up with him she was in front of his house.

As she talked she started to cry. "Do you really want know"?

Martin looked at her he was startled by the fact that she was crying. "Yes I do want know! I mean come on I'm your best friend you can tell me anything".

"I… really hope so because this changes everything"!

"Ruthie would you just tell me because you're really starting to scare me".

"I trying Martin I'm really am but this really hard to say"!

Wiping the tears from her face she slowly started to speak again. "I love you Martin".

"Ruthie I love you too".

"No you're not getting it I'm in love with you!

"You get now"! Ruthie looked at Martin him seemed speechless at the moment so she wiped her eyes again and continued.

That's what I've been acting like this because I'm in love with you. You know you were right I am jealous of you Meredith's relationship! All this time I've been angry and hurt because she's with you and I'm not!

"Ruthie wait" interrupted Martin.

"No let me finish. I'm sorry I never meant for this to happen but it did and I can't change the way I feel"! "I've tried to move on but I can't stop loving you". Ruthie moved closer to Martin and pulled him into a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

_Last Time_

"_You get now"! Ruthie looked at Martin him seemed speechless at the moment so she wiped her eyes again and continued._

_That's what I've been acting like this because I'm in love with you. You know you were right I am jealous of you Meredith's relationship! All this time I've been angry and hurt because she is with and not! _

"_Ruthie wait" interrupted Martin._

"_No let me finish. I'm sorry I never meant for this to happen but it did and I can't change the way I feel"! Ruthie moved closer to Martin and pulled him into a kiss._

* * *

She pulled away and looked at Martin he seemed to be in a trance like state.

"Martin are you ok"?

"Ruthie I better get home"

"Martin you are home".

"Oh" he said nodding his head. "Well I better go".

Sighing she watched him walk into his house. Ruthie wrapped herself in a hug and walked back to her house defeated.

"Ruthie what's wrong" Ruthie looked up; she had ran into Kevin and Lucy who was holding a sleeping Savannah.

"I'm fine" she said as her bottom lip quivered. "I'll see you guys tomorrow.

"Bye" they replied.

She walked inside surprised she hadn't broken down. "Maybe I shouldn't have told him" she thought.

"Ruthie if you're hungry there's a plate for you in refrigerator".

Ruthie stood there staring into space not hearing what her mom said.

"Ruthie"!

"Huh, oh I'm not hungry".

"Ruthie are you ok"? Annie asked, concerned about her daughter.

"I'm fine just tired" she said as she faked yawned.

"I hope you and Martin are ok, I've noticed you've been arguing a lot lately.

"We're fine just fine. Well I'm going go finish my homework bye".

_Next Day_

She woke up at the sound of her alarm. Ruthie glanced down at her homework she had finished but there were several tear stains on the papers.

"If I have time I'll do it over" she mumbled. She took a quick shower, found a pair of black Capris, and a black shirt and was set to go.

She looked at her hair and pulled into a mess ponytail. Looking in the mirror she saw that her eyes were a little swollen but she didn't care. Ruthie grabbed her backpack and headed to the kitchen.

"Good morning Ruthie" her father said.

"Good morning" she mumbled.

"Ruthie are you alright"?

"I'm fine how many times do I have to tell you people that! Now I have to go catch my bus, bye"! She yelled as she grabbed a piece of toast and walk out the door.

Annie walked into the kitchen with the twins. "Did I just hear Ruthie"?

"Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with her. I just ask her if she was ok and she snapped".

"Well I'll talk to her when she gets home. By the way I need you to take the twins to school" Annie said.

"Sure, boys let go, bye" he gave Annie a kiss on the cheek.

_School_

Ruthie spent the whole day lost in thought. She kept thinking about Martin. "Why can't I stop thinking about him he rejected me" she thought.

"Ruthie" her teacher called.

"Yes" she said looking up from her desk.

You're going be late for your next class".

"Sorry, I better get going".

Ruthie walked to her locker, no Martin he was avoiding her like the plague.

"Ruthie" a voice called.

"Jake" she said trying to force a smile. "Hi"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party with me tonight"?

"Tonight, I don't know I have to ask my parents.

"Come Ruthie live a little and beside its Friday not a school night.

"Fine I'll go" she said.

"I pick you up at 7:00". He gave kiss on the cheek and walked away.

"I do need to live a little and that's exactly what I'm going to do at this party tonight" she says to herself.

_After school: After Baseball Practice_

Martin what's wrong with you seem distracted" his friend Mac said."Oh, I know you're thinking about Meredith again aren't you".

Martin looked at him confused.

"Meredith, Martin you know your girlfriend who you can't stop talking about.

"I'm sorry Mac, I'm just"… he said getting distract once again.

"You're just what? You know what forget it, we'll talk about why you're distracted later. By they way have you seen Ruthie"?

"No I haven't seen her! Does it look like I follow her around"? He yelled.

"Martin claim down!

"I sorry Mac I didn't mean to snap at you like that. Now what do you have to tell me about Ruthie".

Mac looks at Martin like he's crazy but continues. "She has been acting really strange. First of all she's wearing all black, second her eyes were red and swollen it look like she had been crying, and third I ask her if she was ok and she almost bit my head off.

"Oh" said Martin.

"Martin that's all you have to say I mean she's your best friend". You know what I think"?

"What"? Martin asked already knowing the answer.

"I think some jerk broke her heart. I think we should find out who it is and kick his ass.

"We can't"!

Why not Martin"? We're Ruthie's friends.

"I'm the jerk who broke her heart".

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Hey guys I posted chapter 4 hoped you like. I was supposed to post chapter 5 as well but it took me forever to get on the computer seeing that I have to share until my mom gets her new laptop. So I'll post chapter 5 sometime next week . Please review and if you have any ideas for my story let me know.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hey guys I've really busy and the week I was suppose to update I had to go out of town. I noticed that some people are confused about story. I'm soooo sorry I didn't make this clear. In the middle of the second chapter I rewind the story nine months before Ruthie had her baby so you could see Ruthie dealing with her pregnancy and fleeing to New York. Also just to let know Matt and Mary will be in the story again but not for a few more chapters.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters from 7th Heaven, but Jake is my character.

* * *

_Last Time_

"_Oh" said Martin._

"_Martin that's all you have to say I mean she's your best friend". You know what I think"?_

"_What"? Martin asked already knowing the answer._

"_I think some jerk broke her heart. I think we should find out who it is and kick his ass._

"_We can't"!_

_Why not Martin"? We're Ruthie's friends._

"_I'm the jerk who broke her heart"._

* * *

"You did what"? Mac asked.

Martin kept his head down trying to avoid eye contact, sighing he began to speak.

"You heard me I broke her heart" Martin whispered.

Mac shook his head and folded his arms across his chest. "Are you and Ruthie still fighting I mean this has been going on for weeks? What did you say her"?

"Ok to answer your first question we're sort of fighting and to answer second question nothing".

"Martin you kind of confusing me so please give me the details"!

"Ok last night Ruthie and I were arguing, she told me she loved me, and then she kissed me. Afterwards I said nothing"

"Martin, Martin you're really stupid you know that. I mean the least you could have done is tell her you don't have feelings for her unless you do".

"Mac I don't have feeling for Ruthie. I love her".

"Aha" Mac yelled interrupting Martin.

"I mean like a sister Mac" Martin said irritated.

"Dude most guys don't make out with their sisters".

"I did not make out with her she kissed me" Martin said sheepishly.

"You know Martin your one lucky guy".

"Why do say that"?

"Well if we weren't friends I'd kick your ass for what did to Ruthie. So you better fix it"!

"Don't worry I will some how".

"Bye Martin I'll see you at the party tonight"!

_The Party_

Ruthie straightened out her black miniskirt thinking about how it had been surprisingly easy to convince her parents that she was going to the promenade with friends. They'd never suspect that she was lying to them. Reaching in her purse she pulled out a small mirror. Her hair was now straight and had bangs and she was wearing a red tank top.

"Ruthie I brought you a drink. Jake said.

She managed a small smile. Thank you Jake you're really sweet.

"Ruthie is there something wrong you seem kind of tense"?

"Not at all I'm fine". She was lying through her teeth. "Why can't I be happy why can't I move on" she thought. It Martin fault he's the reason things didn't work out with Jack. Jack she hadn't thought about him in awhile; that relationship was over before it had even begun. The Jake came along he was hot there was no denying that, but he wasn't Martin.

She looked around the living room and spotted Martin, Meredith, and Mac walking through the door. "Just my luck" she whispered bitterly.

Several beers later she was drunk and then she saw that Martin had spotted her with Meredith and Mac in tow.

"Martin hi" she squealed.

Martin walked closer to Ruthie instantly smelling the alcohol on her. "Ruthie you're drunk.

"Duh like I didn't already know that, I mean come on the room spinning" she said giggling.

"Ruthie what are even doing here? Do your parents know you're here"? Martin asked.

"One question at time please, Jakey were the hell is my drink".

Jake walked in front of Martin and handed her another beer and pulled her into kiss.

"Get the hell away from her" Martin yelled.

Jake wrapped his arm around Ruthie's waist and smirked. "Why don't you make me"

"Fine I will" Martin was getting ready to lunge at Jake when Mac stepped in between them.

"Martin as much as I want you to kick this guy's ass you can't do this here"!

"Marty, Jakey claim please down" Ruthie said still giggling.

"Did that make any sense"? Mac asked.

Shaking his head at Mac stupid question Martin glared at Jake.

"Ruthie why are you doing this"? Meredith asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know" Ruthie hissed.

"Ruthie we care about you" Martin said.

"You care about me? That is really funny Martin"!

"Well it's true". He said.

"If you cared about me you would have said something to me yesterday anything instead of "I have to go home" and if you really cared about you wouldn't have avoided me today"! She yelled.

"Ruthie you kind of caught me off guard"! Martin said

"Well that's too bad. Remember you wanted to know you demanded to know. I told you it would change everything"!

"What's going on"? Meredith asked.

"You want to know Meredith"? Yesterday I"…

Ruthie didn't have chance to finish before her world went black.

_Next Day_

Ruthie rubbed her head she had the worst hangover ever. Groaning she looked at the night stand with a clock on it was 11:30 am.

"How did I even get home last night" she asked herself. She sat up in the bed and looked around the room "this isn't my room" she thought.

She started to panic when she saw she wasn't in the bed alone. Pulling back the covers she screamed. "OMG MARTIN"!


End file.
